Before I left for exotic Punxs'y, I made a pledge to myself (along the lines of a "Give me liberty or give me death") that I would make the most of my last weekend in The District. While I had an absolute blast (yes, I understand that sounds like I stepped straight out of of 1954--"neat-o"), somehow my "making the most" pledge fell kinda short (more along the lines of "The Prom Promise"). Instead, I went to some random ass bars, brunch (expertly prepared by KK -- much thanks!), bowling, and a Book-It style pizza party (much thanks to TF and DK). However, if you were to have asked me at which of these activities I would have most feared for my life (and seriously, I know that's the first thing you think of when anyone tells you what they did over the weekend), I would not have guessed it would have been bowling. However, it was CLEARLY the front runner. You may ask, how can a simple game of 10-pin be frightful? Well, I would respond that it is not the game, but arriving at the destination in which the danger lies.
So, when not hanging out with my precious "Circle" (yes, yes, I am shocked as you are that I spend time away from them, and would probably have my doubts that I'm currently lying), I associate with the few, clearly not proud nor elite, Georgtown Med students. And one of our favorite past times (and by favorite past times, and by that I mean I went like twice before and it was fun) is bowling. We have only 2 requirements for our bowling adventures. First, they must have "glow bowling" or "rock 'n bowl" or the like (what can I say, we need a little Top 40 and black lights to get into it). Secondly, it must be somewhat inexpensive (as med students, we must use the money we get from selling our stem cells efficiently). When choosing a locale, I would guess the majority of people would check out Google or the Yellow Pages to find a bowling alley. I, of course, did not pursue that track.
When I wanted the foremost of bowling locations in the greater DC metropolitan area, I went to my local neighborhood surgical pathologist for advice. Yes, you heard me right, a pathologist. While most pathologist are recognized as having a social life that would be expected of one who would rather work with microscope slides and corpses as opposed to, uh let's just say, "the living," this pathologist is a little different. As a 30 something year-old mother of 5 children (all between the ages of like 11 and 4 -- SCARY!) and native of one of Punxs'y's neighboring towns, I take pretty good stock in her advice on benign social activites (more like ice cream socials than places to score cocaine). So, I listened when she came up with a quick and enthusiastic recommendation--Fort Meyer.
Now let's just pause for a moment. For those of you not familiar with this DC institution, Fort Meyer is a U.S. military base located on the other side of the Potomac. The soliders at Fort Meyer are most well known for guarding the Tomb of the Unknown Solider at Arlington Cemetery. What you may not know is that these soliders are also trained to be the first line to establish martial law in The District in the case of an attack. Therefore, while they are twirling their guns for the happy tourists, they are deep down wanting to set up a bunker with an AK-47 on M and Wisconsin. Hence, some apprehension existed on my part in entering their relm.
Despite my worries, I figured "Hey, it will be just me and EC, what's to worry about." Obviously, that's when things go horribly wrong. When I went to go pick up my friend EC at her apartment complex (where like half of my med school class lives), she informed me that there was a "small rooftop party" there earlier in the night and a "few" other people might want to come along. Okay, I thought, I can deal with that, and the more the merrier, right? However, when I pulled up to the entrance, EC came along with 4 (my care seats only 5) other of her very intoxicated friends. So let me recap, I am now cruising in my 2002 Dodge Stratus at over-capacity of drunkards with the destination of a US military base. Yeah, needless to say I was a bit worried.
As I pulled up to the gates, I prayed that this would not be my one way ticket to Guantanamo Bay. You can imagine that prison conversation -- What you in for? Threatening to bomb the U.S. How about you? I just wanted to go bowling (followed by me breaking into tears). Hesitantly, I pulled up to the gates with my clown car of drunkards. Seeing the soliders in the not so distance, a cold sweat developed between my palms and the steering wheel. Meanwhile, my passangers continued to chatter about everything from Justin Timberlake to colonics. Suddently, I snapped into my training as a summer counselor of high school students. With a swift "Be quiet, pay attention, and keep your eyes forward", I commanded the attention of the car.
After going through the gate with a polite but stearn "What's your business?" from the guards, I was allowed to proceed through. Wow, I thought to myself, this is going to be easier than DK getting thrown in the drunk tank. Rolling up through the military campus, however, I was summoned to check point number 2.
There in an omniously lit open air hanger my car was stopped by no less than three soliders, my "favorite" of which held a semi-automatic weapon that was about the same size as he was. This is it I thought. My life had a pretty good ride up to this point. I'll be bowling in heaven with Jesus and my childhood pets tonight! Now, guurd number 1 asked for my ID and requested that I open all the car doors, and pop my trunk and hood. Guard 2 requested that we all file out of the car and stand at least 5 feet away. Meanwhile, guard 3 stood there eyeing up this group of future doctors while gently stroking the trigger of his gun. With everything open and at a safe distance, the gaurds then proceded to scan every inch of my car. My mind raced, "Do I have anything in there that could be mistaken for a bomb? I know I don't own a gun but could someone have left one in there? Do I have any anti-Bush stuff in there? If they question anything, say you love freedom, support the troops, and just run."
Despite my worry, we were give the seal of approval and allowed to proceed to our final destination (yet, that guard 3 did not put his weapon down once..hmm). Surprisingly, in the end, I HIGHLY recommend the Fort Meyer bowling alley. They have excellent music, great facilities, and some kick ass rock 'n bowl for dirt cheap ($4/game including shoes). So, if you like bowling but also want the same treatment one would get smuggling heroine across international lines, Fort Meyer's is the place to go.
Friday, May 25, 2007
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Homeward Bound -- I wish I was??
At the start of this academic year, I was informed that I would be able to do my family medicine rotation at an away site if I chose to do so. Having heard some of the true horror stories of family medicine rotations here at Georgetown (ranging from having to drive 2 hours to a site to being "assigned" to babysit a doc's kid instead of getting a lunch hour), I decided it may be best to get out of here. But where to go? That's when I discovered you can go to an area that is rural and underserved medically. Hmmmm...rural and underserved but still located in the continental US -- do places like that even exist? These must be desolate areas where the weak are eaten by rabid animals and the barter system is still practiced. Where have I heard of places like that before?? Oh yeah, HOME!
Therefore, I made arrangements to work with a family friend in Punxs'y. Apparently, this doc's dad and my grandfather were physicians together back in the day. So, I thought this would be a great idea -- some free food, free laundry, and 4 weeks of relaxing. That's until I went home for Easter. Having spent all of 48 hours in Punxs'y, I realized there is a reason why I moved away. So while still hoping for the best, I leave on May 22nd to spend a minimum of 4 weeks in exotic western Pennsylvania. That being the case, I felt like I should give you some insight into what I am about to experience compared to Washington, DC. Prepared to be enjoyed and mildly horrified (emphasis on the later of those two).
-The District is the capital of the US of A. Punxs'y is the "weather capital of the world." Clearly one is more influential than the other on the world stage, but I just can't place my finger on it.
-In the District, businesses of all kinds flurish. In Punxs'y, the three main businesses you will find downtown are banks, auto part stores, and beer distributors. Clearly one of those three are incompatible with the other two.
-The District is home to the Smithsonian Institutions, a gathering of some of the most revered museums in the world where one can see everything from the Hope Diamond to the works of Monet. Punxs'y has a weather museum housed in the old post office. Enough said.
-The District has one of the best public transportation systems on the East coast including the metro, buses, and taxis. Punxs'y has one bus that's used exclusively to get the elderly to the grocery store and Walmart, that (last time I checked) is driven by my 4th grade band teacher.
-In the District, summer social events range from concerts to plays to professional sporting evets. In Punxs'y, summer social events pretty much includes the carnival coming to town, where you debate whether or not the carnie running the bumper cars was that kid who dropped out of high school and no one has seen since. Side Note: My sisters and I are SCARED to go to the carnival. Yes, scared. The carnival is like a lighthouse directing the strangest of the strange to its funnel-cake shores.
-In the District, young professionals dress nicely to do such simple things as walk down M Street. In Punxs'y, people wear Steeler jerseys to Sunday mass. Side Note: My aunt and uncle came to visit me once and we drove through Arlington during the lunch hour and my aunt was shocked by the number of people wearing "dress shirts."
-The District has numerous bar scenes including Adams Morgan where the young party until 3 am. Punxs'y has one bar with red shag carpeting on the walls, and if you go you will be hit on by the likes of which include your recently divorced high school math teacher.
-The District is a blend of people from all walks of life and all cultures forming a microcosm of the world. Punxs'y includes the Amish as the majority of our "diversity." Side Note: To give you an idea of the cultural sheltering I am talking about here, people find it interesting (in the exotic way) that my sister and I have Jewish friends.
-In the District no building can be taller than the Washington Monument. In Punxs'y we have the "world's largest groundhog" -- a testament of plywood located in the parking lot of the (wait for it) combination ice cream shop/shoe repair store. At this point, honestly, I WISH I was making this stuff up.
-The District is home to some of the best restaurants displaying cuisine from across the world. Punxs'y's fine dining includes McDonalds (which only opened when I was in 9th grade) and Sheetz (where my sister went to eat before the prom one year).
-In the District, people are on the whole culturally-progressive and liberal. In Punxs'y, people have "W" stickers on their trucks while flying the Confederate flag and making entirely logical (in their minds) connections between abortion, gay marriage, and terrorism.
-Last and certainly not least, the mayor of The District is Adrian Fenty, a lawyer and councilman. The mayor of Punxs'y is the owner of the local hardware/animal feed store and is best known as "Snake." Yes, you heard me right, our mayor's name is Snake. If that does not embody everything, I don't know what does.
All that being said, I still love my little hamlet in the Appalachian foothills. And there are some positive things about the town too (but common on, you know you don't want to hear them). You are always more than welcome to come visit to experience all this on your own. However, I realize that the odds of that happening are on par with Punxs'y believing in evolution (I'm pretty sure they think God created humans and groundhogs right before Jesus showed up). With a little over a week left at my home (far, far) away from home, give me a shout so I can make the most of my limited time in the District.
Therefore, I made arrangements to work with a family friend in Punxs'y. Apparently, this doc's dad and my grandfather were physicians together back in the day. So, I thought this would be a great idea -- some free food, free laundry, and 4 weeks of relaxing. That's until I went home for Easter. Having spent all of 48 hours in Punxs'y, I realized there is a reason why I moved away. So while still hoping for the best, I leave on May 22nd to spend a minimum of 4 weeks in exotic western Pennsylvania. That being the case, I felt like I should give you some insight into what I am about to experience compared to Washington, DC. Prepared to be enjoyed and mildly horrified (emphasis on the later of those two).
-The District is the capital of the US of A. Punxs'y is the "weather capital of the world." Clearly one is more influential than the other on the world stage, but I just can't place my finger on it.
-In the District, businesses of all kinds flurish. In Punxs'y, the three main businesses you will find downtown are banks, auto part stores, and beer distributors. Clearly one of those three are incompatible with the other two.
-The District is home to the Smithsonian Institutions, a gathering of some of the most revered museums in the world where one can see everything from the Hope Diamond to the works of Monet. Punxs'y has a weather museum housed in the old post office. Enough said.
-The District has one of the best public transportation systems on the East coast including the metro, buses, and taxis. Punxs'y has one bus that's used exclusively to get the elderly to the grocery store and Walmart, that (last time I checked) is driven by my 4th grade band teacher.
-In the District, summer social events range from concerts to plays to professional sporting evets. In Punxs'y, summer social events pretty much includes the carnival coming to town, where you debate whether or not the carnie running the bumper cars was that kid who dropped out of high school and no one has seen since. Side Note: My sisters and I are SCARED to go to the carnival. Yes, scared. The carnival is like a lighthouse directing the strangest of the strange to its funnel-cake shores.
-In the District, young professionals dress nicely to do such simple things as walk down M Street. In Punxs'y, people wear Steeler jerseys to Sunday mass. Side Note: My aunt and uncle came to visit me once and we drove through Arlington during the lunch hour and my aunt was shocked by the number of people wearing "dress shirts."
-The District has numerous bar scenes including Adams Morgan where the young party until 3 am. Punxs'y has one bar with red shag carpeting on the walls, and if you go you will be hit on by the likes of which include your recently divorced high school math teacher.
-The District is a blend of people from all walks of life and all cultures forming a microcosm of the world. Punxs'y includes the Amish as the majority of our "diversity." Side Note: To give you an idea of the cultural sheltering I am talking about here, people find it interesting (in the exotic way) that my sister and I have Jewish friends.
-In the District no building can be taller than the Washington Monument. In Punxs'y we have the "world's largest groundhog" -- a testament of plywood located in the parking lot of the (wait for it) combination ice cream shop/shoe repair store. At this point, honestly, I WISH I was making this stuff up.
-The District is home to some of the best restaurants displaying cuisine from across the world. Punxs'y's fine dining includes McDonalds (which only opened when I was in 9th grade) and Sheetz (where my sister went to eat before the prom one year).
-In the District, people are on the whole culturally-progressive and liberal. In Punxs'y, people have "W" stickers on their trucks while flying the Confederate flag and making entirely logical (in their minds) connections between abortion, gay marriage, and terrorism.
-Last and certainly not least, the mayor of The District is Adrian Fenty, a lawyer and councilman. The mayor of Punxs'y is the owner of the local hardware/animal feed store and is best known as "Snake." Yes, you heard me right, our mayor's name is Snake. If that does not embody everything, I don't know what does.
All that being said, I still love my little hamlet in the Appalachian foothills. And there are some positive things about the town too (but common on, you know you don't want to hear them). You are always more than welcome to come visit to experience all this on your own. However, I realize that the odds of that happening are on par with Punxs'y believing in evolution (I'm pretty sure they think God created humans and groundhogs right before Jesus showed up). With a little over a week left at my home (far, far) away from home, give me a shout so I can make the most of my limited time in the District.
Monday, May 7, 2007
Randomness Vol. 2
Today as I was staring a slides of colon biopsies (yes, that will essentially be the next 2 weeks of my life) pretending not to fall asleep (the trick is that if you get your eyes close enough to the eye piece the docs can't tell that the they are actually closed), I let my mind wander as it naturally does, and I kinda realized that there is still a hell of a lot of randomness rolling around in there. So, I figured this maybe a good way to get some of it out (hopefully this way, when they ask me what the diagnosis is, this way I won't blurt out a random song lyric or the like.) Side note: The entire time I am typing this my "t" key is sticking and starting to piss the hell out of me.
1. I feel everyone knows I have an unhealthy obsession with Scrubs (case in point, instead of originally typing "Scrubs" right there, I typed "my friends" -- Freudian slip), but I am starting to realize it myself. For example, I'm starting to identify my feelings based on characters on Scrubs -- and not just characters, but time frame of characters. For example, early Elliot is failing despite always trying, insecure about herself, and pretty OCD about things in life that people shouldn't obsess over. On the other hand, later Elliot, is still OCD and has numerous qwerks, but is a hell of a lot more confident about those things. And I really feel the icing on the cake for my level of self-identification with J.D. happened this last week when (if you didn't see it, I dont' know why because you are obviously missing the best show on television) Elliot got egaged and he realized at the very end it should have been with him instead of with Keith. At which point, I teared up a little and thought to myself "Oh my lord how many things have I let slip through my hands in the past?" (Okay, yes, I have what is known in the medical community as "The Crazies.")
2. British female songwriters are popping up everywhere. Okay, that may be a bit of an exaggeration, but I'm saying I like Amy Whinehouse. And in fact, I feel her song "Rehab" should be a theme song for The Circle (a name I am trying to have catch on for our friends in DC primarily based on how we all originally knew each other but also kinda for our unwillingness to mingle with others at social events). Let me quote (think of it as written spoken word), "They said go to rehab, and I said 'No, No, No'." In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if we acually had this conversation with someone one day (DK, KK, PP, MS, TF, and on and on).
3. I feel if I had to rank the things that I think will kill me, but are unlikely to do so, I would have to put "Accident involving my iPod" in the top 3. Understand I f*in love my iPod, however sometimes I let it take a hold of me a little too much. Two cases in point. The first occurred when driving back to Punxs'y a few weeks back when on a stretch of highway a little song by Journey called "Don't Stop Believing" came on my iPod. Needless to say, I started to sing along in my car (as I am fairly convinced I get amazing acoustics off my dashboard) and start to not so much pay attention to my odometer. By the time the chorus comes along (feel free to sing it in your head as you are reading), I look down and I'm going about 93 in a 55 area)...oops. Second example, today when I was walking to the hospital, The All American Rejects came on and be the self-convinced inner rockstar that I am (trust me, that's a blog onto itself), I actually had to stop myself from picking up my iPod and using it as a microphone as I crossed the entrance to the hospital, where there was uh, I don't know, about 10 cars pulling in and out). So, in the likelihood my body surfaces somewhere, don't be surprised if my iPod is clenched in my hand cold dead hand.
4. While I feel I may raise this topic numerous times in the future, I'll introduce it here -- I'm getting a little terrified about what to do with my life. I literally have to make this decision in the matter of a few weeks to months, and its really starting to press on me. I'm now getting to the point of asking random strangers what to do for a career. I'm currently leaning towards Adolescent Medicine, and I encourage you to read this article about it. Quite literally if I had to write a manifesto on this subject, this would be it. (Much thanks to KK for pointing this out to me). http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/24/health/24teen.html?ex=1178683200&en=f5624369d10dff6d&ei=5070 PLEASE feel free to give me unsolicited advice about career choices whether they be "W.C. I think that's a great idea" to "You are on mescaline right?"
5. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that "Mean Girls" is one of the greatest movies ever made. ("Uh, Bill, I'm starting to really question your judgement." "No, no, just give me a chance.") Okay, now that it has been airing on TNT like every other weekend, I've started to analyze it (like everything else in my life). It has a funny story that you can somewhat relate to, it is extremely quotable, and pretty funny. And for some of you guys out there that I may have not have sold yet, it has Rachel McAdams (and that also applies for some girls, I know JMS has a girl crush on her). So do yourself a favor and watch it -- it will be so fetch! By the way I feel like I identify with Gretchen Weiner (and not just because I like toaster stroodle) namely because she is not the center of the clique but lives on the side and tries to know everything about everyone (but obviously my hair is not big enough to be filled with that many secrets).
Okay, that's about it for now, I hope this satisfied your blog withdrawal (and you are no longer sitting in a corner shaking). Maybe I'll come out with something again soon cause lord knows I'm not doing anything on Surg Path.
1. I feel everyone knows I have an unhealthy obsession with Scrubs (case in point, instead of originally typing "Scrubs" right there, I typed "my friends" -- Freudian slip), but I am starting to realize it myself. For example, I'm starting to identify my feelings based on characters on Scrubs -- and not just characters, but time frame of characters. For example, early Elliot is failing despite always trying, insecure about herself, and pretty OCD about things in life that people shouldn't obsess over. On the other hand, later Elliot, is still OCD and has numerous qwerks, but is a hell of a lot more confident about those things. And I really feel the icing on the cake for my level of self-identification with J.D. happened this last week when (if you didn't see it, I dont' know why because you are obviously missing the best show on television) Elliot got egaged and he realized at the very end it should have been with him instead of with Keith. At which point, I teared up a little and thought to myself "Oh my lord how many things have I let slip through my hands in the past?" (Okay, yes, I have what is known in the medical community as "The Crazies.")
2. British female songwriters are popping up everywhere. Okay, that may be a bit of an exaggeration, but I'm saying I like Amy Whinehouse. And in fact, I feel her song "Rehab" should be a theme song for The Circle (a name I am trying to have catch on for our friends in DC primarily based on how we all originally knew each other but also kinda for our unwillingness to mingle with others at social events). Let me quote (think of it as written spoken word), "They said go to rehab, and I said 'No, No, No'." In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if we acually had this conversation with someone one day (DK, KK, PP, MS, TF, and on and on).
3. I feel if I had to rank the things that I think will kill me, but are unlikely to do so, I would have to put "Accident involving my iPod" in the top 3. Understand I f*in love my iPod, however sometimes I let it take a hold of me a little too much. Two cases in point. The first occurred when driving back to Punxs'y a few weeks back when on a stretch of highway a little song by Journey called "Don't Stop Believing" came on my iPod. Needless to say, I started to sing along in my car (as I am fairly convinced I get amazing acoustics off my dashboard) and start to not so much pay attention to my odometer. By the time the chorus comes along (feel free to sing it in your head as you are reading), I look down and I'm going about 93 in a 55 area)...oops. Second example, today when I was walking to the hospital, The All American Rejects came on and be the self-convinced inner rockstar that I am (trust me, that's a blog onto itself), I actually had to stop myself from picking up my iPod and using it as a microphone as I crossed the entrance to the hospital, where there was uh, I don't know, about 10 cars pulling in and out). So, in the likelihood my body surfaces somewhere, don't be surprised if my iPod is clenched in my hand cold dead hand.
4. While I feel I may raise this topic numerous times in the future, I'll introduce it here -- I'm getting a little terrified about what to do with my life. I literally have to make this decision in the matter of a few weeks to months, and its really starting to press on me. I'm now getting to the point of asking random strangers what to do for a career. I'm currently leaning towards Adolescent Medicine, and I encourage you to read this article about it. Quite literally if I had to write a manifesto on this subject, this would be it. (Much thanks to KK for pointing this out to me). http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/24/health/24teen.html?ex=1178683200&en=f5624369d10dff6d&ei=5070 PLEASE feel free to give me unsolicited advice about career choices whether they be "W.C. I think that's a great idea" to "You are on mescaline right?"
5. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that "Mean Girls" is one of the greatest movies ever made. ("Uh, Bill, I'm starting to really question your judgement." "No, no, just give me a chance.") Okay, now that it has been airing on TNT like every other weekend, I've started to analyze it (like everything else in my life). It has a funny story that you can somewhat relate to, it is extremely quotable, and pretty funny. And for some of you guys out there that I may have not have sold yet, it has Rachel McAdams (and that also applies for some girls, I know JMS has a girl crush on her). So do yourself a favor and watch it -- it will be so fetch! By the way I feel like I identify with Gretchen Weiner (and not just because I like toaster stroodle) namely because she is not the center of the clique but lives on the side and tries to know everything about everyone (but obviously my hair is not big enough to be filled with that many secrets).
Okay, that's about it for now, I hope this satisfied your blog withdrawal (and you are no longer sitting in a corner shaking). Maybe I'll come out with something again soon cause lord knows I'm not doing anything on Surg Path.
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