Randomness Vol. 3

I would like to say that I can post now because I finally have free time after finishing the incredibly strenuous 4 weeks of my family medicine rotation. However, I feel the fact that I only worked about 12 days during that time and most of those days I worked to about noon would probably beg to differ. So, let's get down to it.

1. One thing Punxs'y is not known for is a keen fashion sense (unless of course you count the combination of top hats and camouflage). Therefore, I decided I would make my own contest of "best" shirt seen around downtown Punxs'y (and by "downtown" I mean like the 5 blocks of stores not yet completely crushed by the mega Wal-Mart). There were many contenders including heavy set woman wearing black and white giant tiger head t-shirt and elderly man wearing Brady Bunch-inspired dress shirt. However, the winner by far was 50 year old man wearing "Gulf War Support our Troops" sweatshirt with the arms torn off. I really think you need to pause to consider the majesty that is this shirt. First, it easily has to be 16 years old and still a part of his regular clothing rotation. Second, he thought to himself "hmm, if only I could wear this in the summer" and thereby cut off the sleeves. Third, even though the Gulf War is long in the books, he wants to make sure we all know who won. I salute you sir and look forward to seeing your "Operation Iraqi Freedom" t-shirt converted into a tank top in 13 years.

2. I decided that at least once in my life I want to march into a room or down a hall with a posse and a sweet ass theme song blaring -- along the lines of Lucy Liu with the crazy 88 in "Kill Bill Vol. 1" or the Plastics down the hall in "Mean Girls." You have to recognize how awesome that would be (and if not, please see my "Dead to Me" list). You walk into a bar and everyone has to recognize. I feel like I'm almost there. All I need is a song and to teach TF, PP, DK, and SB to walk in formation.

3. My possibilities for entertainment in Punxs'y include hanging out in front of McDonalds, visiting the Groundhog Zoo (see post from 2/2/07), or watching television. That being said, I have easily logged 90+ hours of MTV in the last 4.5 weeks, and I came to realize that every person on their shows is younger and in better shape than me (damn you Real World casts!). The combination of the Inferno, Exposed, and the like (yes, I understand that I am but weeks away from turning 25 and still watching this crap and I've come to accept that) have perfectly aligned to cause body image doubt like a 12 year old girl flipping through Vogue. Therefore, I decided to start jogging on a regular basis. Yes, yes, you may be saying "Wait, doesn't that violate your rules on running?" (For those of you who don't know, there are only 2 reasons to run. First, to win an Olympic gold medal. You heard me WIN, if you are getting silver you may as well sit at home with your arm elbow deep in Haagen-Dazs. Second, to escape a bear or other predatory woodland creature.) Despite breaking my own oath on running, it is actually turning out fairly well. While I feel like dying at times during the run, after it I feel pretty good about what I have done (and have actually dropped a couple pounds thus far). We'll see if I keep this up upon my return to the District -- I'll have to check the MTV fall schedule first.

4. Today I was brushing my teeth in my mom's bathroom (as my sisters have permanently taken over the main bathroom in a manner similar to the USA's Manifest Destiny over North America), when I noticed something somewhat unusual. Among the various beauty products on the countertop was what appeared to be a black tube of something with the words "Paris Hilton" on it in huge pink letters. Now, I don't know what this stuff is, where it came from, or what my Catholic- community health secretary-mother of 3 is doing with it. All I know is I'm scared. Very scared. I'm half expecting to see Nicole Richie non-stick cooking spray show up in the pantry.

5. I'm worried about the state of my precious precious Circle. Now, I understand the irony of someone who has deserted it for all intensive purposes for over a month talking about the necessity of preserving its integrity, but I feel that it is still on my mind shows my dedication to the subject. Members and accessory members are leaving left and right. JMS is now in the 'Burgh being a professional and KK is in LA doing whatever it is she does on the East coast now on the West (at some point in time, I WILL understand her job). Therefore, I am announcing an emergency "Retain and Recruit" plan. As such, the remaining fragments will be held on with my dear life, and I am enlisting TF to help in this vital measure (as I know he is imprisoned working with kids for the next year). The second part is recruitment, as we now have openings available. In this regard, I am recruiting PP to be our rush chair, as I have come to realize he is probably the most social of all of us (plus, starting a new school, he is more likely to be exposed to new people). The process to be accepted will be hard and rigorous necessitating a 2/3rds majority vote of voting members. Or, the candidate can just buy us a round of beers and be instantaneously in.

6. This past weekend I went to the DuBois (pronounced Do-Boys) Community Days festival. It was like Mecca for hill-folk. Some of the choice things I saw there include the following...
-An inflatable sinking Titanic slide for kids. (If you don't see how horrible this is, just wait for the Hiroshima ride).
-Grown men with rat tails (Yes, rat tails. Mullets are a dime a dozen but the rat tail is the quarter in the penny jar).
-A "Come Play with God" booth sponsored by some local church. (I have no clue what was in there but I wouldn't be surprised if there was a "Whack-a-Heathen" game).
-The headling band was called "Vocal Trash" ("Guys, we need some name that really encapsulates our music, but what should we choose?")

Well, that's all the randomness for now. District soon.